All anyone ever says about EPIK is about how long the process takes. How long it is from when you decide to apply to when you actually can. How long it takes to hear back that they received your application, that they want an interview, whether you passed the interview or not, whether or not you get placed. However, it was around April of last year when I discovered EPIK and knew I wanted to do it – and now it’s already the day of. I just hit ‘submit’ on the email containing the essays I worked so hard on, the Rec letters I harrassed professors to obtain, the lesson plan I cried and stressed over for weeks – not to mention the photo of my tattoo. Yikes. Time has flown. Time always flies for me – I’m not sure why. But perhaps that was because I considered February 1st a deadline. It’s not like hearing back from them – which might happen tomorrow or months from now, and might be good news or bad.

When I hit submit, I knew. This has happened a number of times – me hitting ‘submit’ and knowing, in that instant, whether I will get back a “We’re happy to inform you” or a “We regret to inform you”. I suppose I just have to live with that, don’t I? The good news is, if I’m wrong, I will be very excited to get my interview, and very excited if I pass my interview, and very excited if I get placed. The bad news is, if I’m right.. well, first of all, as I’ve said before, all of my eggs are in one basket, so I’m in big trouble. But besides that, not even knowing now that I probably won’t make it is going to save me from the tears that will come when it is confirmed I did not. Seeing that email will still devastate me, even if I saw the rejection coming. So, that’s hard.

But I know that even if I fail, that is not the end of the road for me – it’s just a road block. Stay tuned, anyone out there who may stumble across this blog. I will update you in the future, once I’ve heard back from them one way or another.